Diagnosis delight

 

First up - thanks for all the support re the cats. In some ways I almost feel that I have no right to be upset since Number Guy and I made a decision to go to Switzerland which ultimately, despite our plans to the contrary, meant that they couldn't go. Still, they do have great homes and that is the best thing (well, best after being with us, of course....).

I saw the GI consultant today. He really is a lovely man and the fact that he gave up some of his time to see me before his over-full clinic began makes me like him even more. And even better - I now have a firm diagnosis. Put simply, the pressure in my oesophagus is too high. When this happens further down the the GI tract, one has Irritable Bowel Syndrome, which I also have symptoms of, as it happens. This was all shown by the manometry tests that I had 2 weeks ago. I also had a pH test done at the same time and this was also worth the trauma and having it in situ for 24 hours since this has shown that I also have acid reluxing into my oesophagus where it just shouldn't be.

So, treatment options. First is lifestyle - I have to contimue avoiding the things that make it worse. Mr X said that chocolate and cheese before bed really is a bad idea since they containe tyramine which has adverse effects. The good news is that he has said that I don't have to avoid tyramine-containing food completely, just be sensible about what I eat and when. I also need to continue with the positive changes inr espect of stress reduction. He feel that in cases such as this complementary treatments are potentially of benefit.

But he said something else which made me like him even more - just in case I was worrying that he thought all in my head he said emphatically that this is a very real problem and is not 'all in my mind'. Now I also want to point out that I am not denigrating psychological/psychiatric problems, which are also real in every true meaning of the word. It is simply that that since others health professionals could not come up with a diagnosis I had to suffer their condescension as a result - there was no acceptance of the fact that my problems were real and that they simply couldn't find out the cause - so I just feel better being able to wave this in their face. It would be great if others' prejudices/assumptions about different types of illness didn't exist, but they do.

As well as the lifestyle I will continue to be treated with what is actually an anti-depressant. Again, Mr X pointed out that this is not due to the psychiatric properties (I am 'scunnered' but definitely not depressed) but for the side-effects which act on the autonomic nervous system, affecting the muscles of the GI tract. It can take several months for the full effect to bcome apparent so this is a bit of a long haul. I will also need to take a Proton Pump Inhibitor such as Nexium to deal with the ongoing acid reflux.

And....on the cardiac front, the medic that I saw on Friday is fairly sure that the SVT is caused by the meds I take for the migraines.....so, bit of a viscious circle going on with this.

Isis and Athyr

 

They left tonight for their new home - they're going to be thoroughly spoiled by their new owners - lovely couple with an adorable daughter (anyone who knows me knows I don't say this about many children, so that will give you an idea of just how lovely she is!). Many tears shed....

...and just to take my mind off it, I have to have an x-ray tomorrow to see if I have a kidney stone. Tell ya, I'm sure getting my money's worth out of the NHS before I leave these shores.

That's the weekend that was

 

And a blinkin' 'orrible one it was, too.

I was admitted to our local hospital on Friday and was discharged today. I now have to take the decision on whether or not to make a formal complaint.

When I was a student nurse, it was drummed into my head that 'A patient's pain is what they say it is, when they say it is.' Sadly, one of the nurses seemed to have missed that lecture. And so had one of the doctors.

I don't know about you, but when a patient who has just been discharged (and delighted to be going home) finds herself rolling about the floor in agony, I reckon that what is needed is another assessment. What I overheard between one of the junior doctors and this nurse was 'Leave her in there, she'll get fed up soon and go home'......Well, that was the final straw. Suffice to say, one snotty, crying, pain-ridden India ended up collapsing in the corridors and had to be brought back yesterday afternoon.

Having politely, if somehwat tearfully, told the doctor what I thought of his comments, he surprisingly couldn't look me in the eye today.....

Number Guy and I spoke to one of the senior nurses in the hospital yesterday after my pain had settled but I think I am going to go ahead with this complaint. Ironic, isn't it, that a couple of nights previously I had told the night sister how impressed I was with one of the other nurses on the ward,a young male staff nurse. He didn't tell patients what they 'wanted to hear', he 'simply' took the time to listen and to give the best answer he could. And he took time. He was just great.

Unfortunately, this other nurse was a different story. Right from the beginning I new she thought I was a timewaster. The problem at the moment is that the endoscopy didn't show any damage - this is good news, but it doesn't mean that there isn't a problem. She, however, has obviously decided that the GI consultant can't see a malingerer when one jumps up and slaps him in the face. I have had to endure her sarcastic tones and resistance for the past 3 days. So certain of her own 'diagnosis' was she, that even when I was in agony in the hallway and with Number Guy present, she continued with her very bad attitiude to me. Although I know myself that she has been treating me as a malingerer I am so glad that I have witness to it.

Having decided to stay last night so that they could do another test today, I did something I thought I would never do - I asked that I not be 'cared' for by this nurse. Never thought I would ever do that, never.

I had a CT scan today to check the blood vessles around my stomach, and they are fine. I have to have pH and pressure tests in a couple of weeks - involves wires up my nose (Yikes!!!) and down my throat. Not looking forward to it, but hopefully it will help.

So, a really cr***y weeked. But thank goodness for great nurses and consultants who can spot a genuiunely ill patient at 100 yards, blindfolded on a foggy night in the blackout.... <

Fighting the Black Dog

 

(If you are looking for Alston Hall entry, scroll down to previous one - and keep coming back for updates. I'll remove this rather odd comment in a few days, but it need to be here just now, honest!)

I was really interested in Ginger Nut's campaign and thought I would share my own story - using knitting to fight depression. If you want to read more about how this is being done, click the image above.

Now, while I don't walk in to a crowded room and declare 'I'm a knitter and a bit of a nutter!' sorry - I just couldn't help it - alliteration, rhyme and stereotyping all rolled into one ;0)

Let me start again - While I don't walk into a crowded place and announce that I have been both psychiatric nurse and patient, I never shy away from the subject should it be appropriate.

I guess that it was writ large in my stars that depression would find me sooner or later - I'm not going into details here - and when you add becoming a mother for the first time hundreds of miles from home, to an unhappy marriage, the result is unsurprising. The only surprising thing is that I managed to hold it off for so long.

Not so strangely, I think, I depression finally caught up with me at a time when my life should have been easier - child just at school, I'd qualified as a nurse, starting a part-time degree. But I think this is often the way - somehow, somehow, you keep battling on while you have to. Once the pressure is released - bam! Hits you right between the eye.

I'm going to scroll on a few years here and you'll find me at home, having just been discharged after my second admission. I'm still appalled at that. Discharge PLAN? Had anyone at that place even HEARD of the notion? And what about patient actually being FIT for discharge.....

Boy, it was tough. I was so lonely. In so much emotional pain. DIdn't know what to do with myself. Then I had the faintest glimmer of an idea - I could knit, couldn't I?

You must be bloody joking! If what you expected was a tale of how knitting salved my injured soul, you've come to the wrong place....but don't go just yet. Hear me out. In my mind at the time (which was such a bruised and battered place, let me tell you) people who knitted were Sad. Lonely. Pathetic. Ergo, if I knit I would become Sad. Lonely. Pathetic.

What I didn't see at the time, what I couldn't see at the time is that I already was this person. I just couldn't bear to admit it to myself. If you have suffered in the way that I have, you will understand the emotional pain which is so intense it becomes an actual physical pain deep within. My mind just couldn't take any more, couldn't admit what I was actually feeling.

So knitting didn't help me fight off that depression. Not one little bit - if you want to know how I did succeed, you'll need to tune in to a future episode. But what I do know now, is that knitting right here right now is part of my master plan. The plan that keeps me well, off the tablets and out of hosptial. Sure, I have my moments, my days when I am blue. Sometimes it's deeper than that and I have to take action. Knitting, and just as importantly, the knitting community, is part of that plan. Not the only part, but an important one nonetheless.

Tune in next week folk, for another rivetting episode of 'How India keeps out of the Funny Farm.' ;0)

EDIT: I have had to hide the comments for this post becasue I accidentally published an email that I didn't mean to - feel free to add any comments regarding this post on another one.

Post the 3rd

 

Whew, heavy blogging today!

Thought I'd give a quick health update.

Eye - good, if slightly deflating, news. The problem with my vision is related to something 'fatal' - the ageing process ;0) I'm aware, and have been for some time, that my eyes take a little time to accomodate when I move from sewing/reading to watching TV. What I hadn't appreciated is that this is related to the reading problem. Put quite simply, now that I am no longer 21 (I know, so hard to believe), it takes more effort for my myopic eyes to do what they have always done so well - deal with fine detail and small print. What happens is that when I am tired, my eyes, the left one in particular,just down tools and give up. This makes a lot of sense - the problem doesn't happen all the time, tends to be later in the day and I notice it when my right eye is closed because I am rubbing it...due to tiredness.

Cardiac news - consultant thinks it's SVT. So, it's good to have a diagnosis. The downside (why does there always seem to be one?!) is that I am having some very unpleasant side effects.

BUT, and it is a big 'but', although I was feeling a bit fed-up at the start of the week, I feel better today.

As I keep saying, I'm warm, dry and not being shot at. Perspective. Helps to have some.

Update Chez India

 

Well, seems like a lot has been happening here of late, but when I stop to consider, there hasn't been much at all. I think that soaking up the sun (well, dappled shade, actually) must be really hard work.

I'm still off work, having various investigations - honest to goodness, I reckon I'm going to get Frequent Flyer miles with the NHS fairly soon...
On a strangely positive note, I had a mini cardiac episode yesterday. It was positive becasue I had the Cardio Call event monitor with me, similar to the one in the link. The 24 hour and 5 day machines have so far failed to catch anything, but the Cardio Call is all mine for 1 month. Although I didn't have any arrythmia, I did have the tachycardia, so at least they caught that!
In the meantime, I am trying to get as much gentle exercise as I can (note to self, digging out a compacted compost heap is not gentle exercise and it's no bloomin' wonder you felt so unwell after....). On that note, Number Guy made me a raised bed and I pretended to be Lady Rosemary. pottering about with various seeds and salad vegetables.

As you can see, this is not the biggest bed in the world - more of a narrow single than a queen- or king-size. I've snuggled up beetroot next to spinach at the head of the bed, while the foot end is seeing a Three Sisters set up. It might not work - probably won't !- but it's a bit of fun.

When I haven't been pottering in the garden, I've been doing a little more sewing (two types of sewing in one blog, eh?!). First up, a denim 'Thai fisher skirt' . Like the first one I made, I love it.

Particularly the metal buttons that I added to three of the four raw seams

Flushed with that success, I made a doorstop to keep the two great escapers where I want them. Like other folk who have made this , I found that the '5lb of dried beans' was a bit of an underestimate. I stopped after I had used all of the out-of-date pulses and rice that I could find lurking in the cupboards (which was a scary 81/2 lbs...) The pattern is from Simple Sewing, Lotta Jansdotter. For a newbie sewer like me, this is an excellent book - the fact that the full-size patterns are included, is a big plus.

Well, on that note, I'm off to think a bit about my assignments - I'm trying to make use of the time off to catch up on this work, as I wasn't up to it previously.
I may be some time....

Some good news..

 

On the eye front - the results from the scan are in, and there are no problems on that front! Yeehah! Great news! Still doesn't explain the problem, but at least my macula is intact. Hopefully an appointment with the eye specialist will get to the bottome of what is going on

Appointment with a cardiologist today - seems it is likely that my chest pain is...chest pain. i.e. cardiac related as opposed to intercostal cramp. I'm not surprised, since painful as IC cramp is, the pain in my chest has been something else.

Next steps - waiting for appointment for 5-day cardio tape to try to catch my heart misbehavin'. Then hopefully having caught said misbehaviour, treat it with non-lipid soluble betablocker. The kind that doesn't get into the brain and cause confusion and horrific nightmares. And it will treat my high BP - which has also been a cause for concern.

In the meantime, on with my current assignments and not much time for knitting ;0( Hope y'all have a good weekend. India

fingers crossed

 

My thyroid levels are borderline at the minute, so the doc has suggested upping my thyroxine - one of the problems with the symptoms that I've been having lately is that many of them can be explained by an underactive thyroid. However, having a 'borderline' level wouldn't suggest to me that this is the problem - but maybe I'm just a sensitive soul.

But, 'While beta blockers are generally well tolerated, it is only relatively recently that the more insidious side effects have become apparent, often only when people realise how much better they feel when they come off them.'.....

Watch this space - well, only if you are really bored, don't feel you have to ;0)

Yowza-ish

 

Finally finished the Gaelic assessment and mailed it off - I love clicking that mouse at times like this. Went to do the sound files and ground to a halt - microphone appears to be dead. At least, I hope that's the problem, because then I can complete the audio 'stuff' before tomorrow's deadline assuming I can get a new mike.

Made some more medical discoveries today. You know the scenario. You've put on weight as a side-effect of the anti-migraine meds. You've tried everything you can to lose said weight. Even eating less ;0) You berate yourself mightily - the only explanation is that you are eating a shed-load more food than you thought. So you keep a food diary. You are DEFINITELY NOT eating too much (and you've been brutally honest, every smidgen is accounted for). Your number-genius husbands checks the maths, he can't figure it out either.

Then a chance comment on a BBC 'drama' tonight - beta blockers make it hard to lose weight. And guess what - they cause confusion. Remember that post - the one where I said I couldn't operate the scales? Man, I wanted to cry. And there have been other incedents lately - forgetting which road to take, to whom I just spoke at a clinic. I thought I was losing my marbles. And I've been feeling down - thought it was because I'm losing my marbles. Nope, that's a side effect. too.

I knew about the nightmares and the cold hands and feet, but I didn't know about the rest...

Things are really sucking here right now. Still, could be worse. I'm warm, dry and not being shot at. Helps me keep some kind of perspective.