Thursday, March 13, 2008

love...

 
As you know, my son flew the nest a couple of years ago, but I still marvel at the fact that I no longer cry for three hours every day. How on earth did I manage to get over it when he moved out? My heart was bruised for so long. Even more amazing is that I managed to hide it from him. After all, he was simply progressing on to the next stage in his life, why make him suffer too?

But there is one reality that I just cannot bear, that I cannot just get over. One day, even though it will hopefully be many, many years from now, a world will exist without my boy... I know I'll be gone too, so I won't be around to notice, but...but...

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8 Comments:

Blogger Allegra said...

very sad. i hope everything is ok and that nothing serious prompted the mood of this post. i have learned the same sadness ever since my baby was born (about not being around, her not being around). feel better....

8:46 pm  
Blogger Cherry Rolfe said...

Sometimes you can't help going so deep it hurts like a wound. But how wonderful to love so deeply too.

9:34 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe a touch of homesickness, especially if you have not seen him since you left the UK? Hope that you can see him soon if so....
carol

3:28 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just read over at your other blog that you have just spent the week alone - no wonder you are feeling a little down. I remember those days and how tough it can be when they travel. As you settle more and find your place there, it will get better.
Did he come here? If so, you should have let me know and I would have sent him home with a little knitterly package for you (The Google campus is just down the road). Take care ...
Carol

3:38 pm  
Blogger Linda said...

Oh, I know how you must be feeling. I have two teenagers and my son is ready to fly away already! I don't know if it will get easier, but I feel for you and I understand.
You asked for a link to the hat I posted on Sew?I Knit!
Here it is:
http://otsukaya.co.jp/TeduBigI0508.htm
If for some reason it doesn't work or you need help with directions, just visit me at my blog and/or email me and I will be happy to post or send the pattern piece I drafted from the directions.

8:16 pm  
Blogger Linda said...

Hello Again!
I have your pattern ready. Can you email me? morantribe AT gmail.com
The file is too large to put up on my blog.

3:32 pm  
Anonymous tash said...

Mr. VP's mother made him leaving home (even though he'd been living away with both university and then work, for quite some time before I appeared) and moving into my mother's house a huge deal. We used to go and see his parents every month at least, yet there were guilt-trips and screaming ab-dabs on the phone if we had plans for a certain weekend.

It hasn't got much better since we moved all the way to Northumberland, she still resents his job and me. All I can say is, you're a star for keeping it to yourself. Some parents use it as a bargaining chip at every turn and it's hard for us who have to endure the guilt.

I do wonder what would happen if this was my situation, how I'd feel if I had a child and how hard it'd be to leave it be and let it out into the wide world. I suppose it's all part-and-parcel of being a Mum and one that, if we do have a child, I hope I don't have to experience until my child's at least 45 ;-)

2:57 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I felt this keenly. My son left 6 weeks ago (and 5 days and 12 hours...); I didn't know I could cry this much! My situation is a little bit more confusing though as I don't even know where he is... I hope that will change soon. Thanks to your post, I know that at least in a couple of years I wont be crying quite as much. Wishing you all the best! (who's idea was it to have children?!)

12:23 am  

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